Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I seem to have left my pride at pride
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
