I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
