i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
