wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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