We're like a lot better than the average bears
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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