My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
