I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
