His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
