Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
