After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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