I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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