He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
