...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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