I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
