Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
