You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
