I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
