my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
