We're facebook friends in real life
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
