How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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