I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
