I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
