hotel room ftw
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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