I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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