God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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