She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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