Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Floor bacon is actually really good
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
