Swine flu. Run for my life!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
