Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
