Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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