I'm really into asian looking animals
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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