So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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