thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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