Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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