You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
