If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do vagina's smell?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
