Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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