I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I will die if light touches me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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