Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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