My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
