Whod you bang
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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