and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
