And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
