Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
