Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize