How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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