This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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