her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
