i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
