why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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