Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
