I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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