Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
