You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
