she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
