Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
