Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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