I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
