so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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