she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
