No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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