I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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