I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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