I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
