new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
