He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
