He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
