I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
