You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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