So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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