How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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