Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
