no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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