im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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