DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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