can u get pink eye on your cock?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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