I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
