My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
